A Cheesy Post

So I was reading Throwing Up Words’ blog today (which has got to have one of the coolest titles.) Anndee gave the challenge to write a young adult romance story using the words: sunset, waves, perfume, sand, throat, party, hot, luncheon, sooth, tanned, glitter, ouch, horse, fleece, scrumptious, thriller, beef, pen, calendar, roster

Ordinarily, I wouldn’t care. Except this was in the challenge as well: The twist? This is a badly written romance.

Well, who else would write a badly written romance that all girls will laugh at because of it’s truthfulness and all guys will laugh at because they know how stupid the writer is being? Me! So, without further ado, here’s my cheesy young adult romance:

Clay and Allie

Summer was almost over. It had been three wonderful months between junior and senior year for Clay and Allie. When Clay wasn’t working at ‘Dreamy Ice Cream’ or working out with the rest of the football team, he was with Allie. Whether sitting together on the sand watching the waves during the beautiful California sunset or attending one of the many luncheons at their families’ country club, they were together.

But it was two weeks before summer was going to end that saw an event that would change Clay and Allie’s relationship.

She walked in from the tennis courts, her perfume filling the hot room. Clay was reading the latest team roster in an email from his football coach. He was using a pen to mark the dates on his calendar when practices were and when and where his games would be. Allie’s tanned body blocked the light from his laptop.

“Clay,” Allie said, “I’ve got some bad news. “

“Wait,” he replied, jumping up from the couch. He pulled out a small box, obviously containing some sort of jewelry. “I want you to have this.”

She took the small box and opened it. It was a beautiful sparkling necklace. The other day when they were riding horses they had a conversation about jewels. She said she was a traditional girl and loved diamonds.

“May I?” Clay asked, taking the necklace out of the box. He placed it around her neck. The clasp tugged on her blonde hair as he closed it around a few loose strands.

“Ouch,” she said as he tried to free the strands.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s ok,” she replied. She looked at the nearby mirror. The diamond necklace sparkling on her delicate throat.

She kissed him in gratitude. Afterward, she leaned back and wiped the glitter that her lip gloss left on his lips.

“What were you going to say when you walked in?” Clay asked holding Allie close.

“It’ll wait.”

Clay suddenly looked at his watch. “I’ve got to get to practice anyway. See you at the party tonight?”

She nodded as he gave her one quick kiss before leaving. Allie looked at her reflection in the mirror and began to sniffle from the news that she would have to give Clay later.

Later, before the beach party, Allie was wearing Clay’s football fleece. It was so soothing and comfortable to be engrossed in it as she read the latest teen thriller by C.M. Jones.

Allie looked up to see Christy walking up towards her, the snooty girl that no one liked. “I hear a rumor that you’re going to have to end your relationship with Clay soon.”

Allie returned her eyes to her book. “I’m glad you listen to random people like that, Christy.”

“Well, once you’re out of the picture, I’ll be going in for him. He’s so…scrumptious.”

“And you’re so cliché,” Allie responded with a tilt to her head as she looked at Christy, her sunglasses bouncing as she did so.

“Well, we’ll see what happens at the party tonight. I’ll be there as a shoulder for him to cry on.”

“You know, Christy. Good luck there.” The snooty blonde left. A moment later, Allie frustratingly threw her book down. Picking it up, she went inside to take a nice relaxing bath before the party.

Allie waited for Clay at a corner table, glaring at Christy who was closer than she would’ve liked. After a half hour into the party, Clay finally came onto the deck. He went straight to the buffet and the beef brisket. A few minutes later he was eating across from Allie, Christy a few yards behind his shoulder.

“Clay,” she said, “I have to tell you something. I found out today that my dad got promoted.”

“And that’s bad?” he asked taking a large bite of brisket.

“Well,” Allie replied, “in a way it is. His promotion takes him to the headquarters in Seattle.”

Clay put his fork down and swallowed his food, his brown eyes showing he realized what this meant. “You’re moving?”

“In eight days.”

He reached over and grabbed her hand. “Well, we’ll just make those days very memorable. And instead of going to college down here, I’ll apply to one of the Washington schools.”

“You don’t have to…”

“I want to.”

It felt so good to hear that. And those eight days were wonderful, spending as much time with Clay as possible. But, that’s where their relationship ended. Because life is like that. Clay stopped emailing Allie about nine weeks later, when he started dating Christy. Clay went to college and played football where he warmed many benches. Christy broke up with Clay when the college quarterback stole her from him. When Clay looked Allie up on Facebook during his senior year, he saw that she was engaged to some nerdy scientist. Allie and her ‘nerdy’ husband later won a Nobel for their research in curing cancer. And that’s how life is.

Ok, what did you think at my attempt? I think I captured the YA….just not the romance. But I loved it regardless.


8 Responses

  1. Hahahaha!
    I love this!
    And I love the way you wove in all those words.
    You SO can be a romance writer.

    Thanks for a terrific, fun read!

  2. I really liked the suspense, and since I hate romance, that’s probably the best your going to get out of me for this story. I also kinda liked that it didn’t have a happy soppy ending. If you weren’t looking for any real

    Now on to the bad, I think your missing two commas in your second sentence. Having them there would really help the flow of the first paragraph. Also, the part about curing cancer at the end kinda throws all realism out the window because everyone knows that it hasn’t been cured yet, and medical people know that if someone was to find a cure, said cure would probably only be applicable to the certain type of cancer that was being researched. Cancer is not one disease, it’s many.

    Sorry if this sounds harsh. I didn’t mean for it to. I just figured that, as an aspiring writer, you would appreciate the honesty.

    • So, I really don’t mind the harshness when it comes to my writing that I take seriously. But honestly, I wrote this out of fun, not out of seriousness. I really didn’t care about grammar, flow, structure, or reality. Please note two things though: I did not say they ‘cured cancer’, I simply referred to research to it. And two, I’ve had a mother, a nephew, and an in-law all die from three different types of cancers. I’m pretty sure I understand that cancer comes in various forms.

      Other than that, thanks for reading though.

    • Pretty sure there’s now a vaccine to “cure” (prevent) cervical cancer caused by HPV. Just sayin.

  3. Sorry about the “If you weren’t looking for any real…” incomplete sentence. I decided to add that sentiment on to the end of the post, and forgot to delete. I need some sleep.

  4. […] ouch, horse, fleece, scrumptious, thriller, beef, pen, calendar, roster.  Tim made sure his story was extra cheesy…and it was, but in reading it, it’s also obvious that the man should […]

  5. […] an offer from someone to write a romance novel, I’d have to turn them down. I mean, look at my example of romance writing for a reference here. Sarah Eden’s “Two Guys at a Gym” is more proper as a guy genre. (If you […]

  6. […] ouch, horse, fleece, scrumptious, thriller, beef, pen, calendar, roster.  Tim made sure his story was extra cheesy…and it was, but in reading it, it’s also obvious that the man should […]

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