The Amazing Race: LDS Authors

Guess what, it’s time for fake-reality-show-with-LDS-Authors! Why? Because I did this last year after Storymakers. And you know what, it’s just a fun tradition.

First: A little about the Emmy winning Amazing Race. Teams of 2 (usually 11-12 of them) race around the world solving clues and arriving at pit stops with mandatory 12 hours of rest. The last team to arrive at a pit stop is out of the race. So without further ado, my awesome cast list for The Amazing Race: LDS Authors

Before we get to the teams, I’ve decided that this show needs a good host. So I’ve chosen my agented friend Graham Bradley.

1. Team Wells: Robison Wells and Dan Wells. I put them in order of first novel published. Who wouldn’t want to watch the Wells brothers sparring off with one another? Threats of demons and weird schools coming up. And they can argue on who’s the better author agented by Sara Crowe.

2. Team Short and Sweet: Sarah Eden and Annette Lyon: (Yes Sarah, there is an order here.) This is probably the fan favorite team. Sarah constantly cracking short jokes and her expense, Annette freaking out that the clues misused the phrase “Couldn’t care less”. It’d just be awesome!

3. Team Dudes: James Dashner and Jeff Savage: I really see this being the lazy team who still manages to get by. And it’d be entertaining to watch James go to Greece and see his book at the airport and stop and admire it. (Well, he may do that.)

4. Team Awesomesauce: Elana Johnson and Nichole Giles: Elana’s Possession comes out soon. Oh wait, not why I’m talking about them. Elana and Nichole are seriously two of the nicest and awesomest people I know. And how could I not include my fellow reality-show loving fan, Elana? And how could I not have a ‘Team Awesomesauce’?

5. Team No Excuse: Brandon Sanderson and Howard Tayler: This will be one of the funniest teams to watch. They’d also be a pretty strong team and would have the other contestants gunning to get rid of them quickly.

6. Team Busy Bees: Josi Kilpack and Julie Wright: These two awesome authors are just so busy that it would be funny to see them be forced to sit still at an airport (without children or spouses to be worried about).

7. Team Mysterious: Stephanie Black and Traci Abramson: Both Whitney Award nominated women. The stay at home mom and the former CIA agent. Sounds like a tv show in and of itself actually.

8. Team Man-Cave: Abel Keogh and David West: Both awesome guys. Both manly-men. (Okay, that didn’t sound awkward or anything.) But both these guys are awesome and I can see them making a great team for this faux competition.

9. Team Fergie: John Ferguson and Danyelle Ferguson: Yes, I know John isn’t really a published author. But Danyelle is and she needs a great partner. So I chose her husband John. Deal with it! Also, John is hilarious and I think it’d be funny watching him race around the world. Danyelle is also sweet enough to put up with all the shenanigans he’d try do.

10. Team Siblingesque: Don Carey and Krista Jensen: Don and Krista aren’t siblings. But they do show that they’re friends. They could tolerate each other long enough for this competition. (No, Krista isn’t published, but she is under contract. Close enough in my book.)

11. Team Random: Marion Jensen and Tyler Whitesides: I know Marion already thinks that his partner should be Matthew Buckley. But there has to be four feet running, not two in this game. These guys are random, awesome, and cool. I think that’s all I can say for this team. Both funny guys. But you know what, this would be the quietest team I bet.

So, last time, I named the final 5. This time, we’re gonna go with the final three.

And they are, in no particular order: Team Busy Bees, Team Mysterious, and Team Random! I think Busy Bees just would have the drive to get to the end. Mysterious has the intelligence factor in their favor. And Random, well, because they’re random.

And my pick for The Amazing Race: LDS Authors winner:

TEAM BUSY BEES!!!!!!

Why? I don’t see either woman ever giving up. (Not that anyone else would be giving up.) I also see them as fairly fit and ready to go on a race around the world.

Okay, that’s it. Next year, what will I come up with? You’ll have to wait and see. As always:

Alien abductions are involuntary, but probings are scheduled.

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25 Responses

  1. I’m pretty sure Team Siblingesque would be the sleeper team, coming out of nowhere as the ones to beat. Don’s a pilot with a mustache, and I have an irrepressible sense of victory. We may not have a lot of experience, but we’re hungry. Bring it.

    And I’ll be needing a map.

  2. Next year I’ll be published and in your post πŸ™‚

  3. I couldn’t agree more. In fact, there would probably be so much agreeing on this team that the producers would kick us off the show for lack of drama.

    Assuming, of course, that they could catch us. Watch out for Team Siblingesque!

  4. No, no, Taffy. You and I are the secret 12th team that no one sees coming. Bwahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!

  5. I’ll be glued to my television set, cheering everyone on!

  6. Great fun! Love the names.

  7. Dude. First off, I LOVE that you teamed me with Elana and named us team Awesomesauce. That just rocks.

    But I can’t believe we didn’t even make the final 3. Do you not know how many rejections we have between us? HELLO! Persistence and stuff.

    Oh wait. Maybe we lost because of my Queen Loser status. Well. In that case. Okay then. Good game everyone, good game. Thanks TJ! That was fun.

    • You’re the 2 most recent “Queen Losers”. Of course you don’t win this. πŸ™‚

      But you’re both awesomesauce. How could that not be the team name?

  8. Okay. The only reason Team Short and Sweet won’t be winning is because at every destination we will take time out to find 1-a chocolate shoppe (notice the international spelling) and 2-a book store and, if time permits, 3-a masseuse. While all the other teams are frantically losing their cool to the gods of competition, we will be enjoying a lovely trip around the world. Team Short and Sweet–For. The. Win!

    • Sorry, Sarah, I had to laugh because reason #1 was the exact reason why I decided Team Short-and-Sweet doesn’t win.

  9. Go team go! sounds great!

  10. Haha, super fun TJ!

  11. I think David and I are manly enough that we’d kill everyone before the race even started. (David would use a sword.)

  12. you totally nailed it. Team Busybees kicks everybody’s butt. Fortitude and hard work baby. and because Josi’s so well organized, we’d even have time for the chocolate shoppe, bookstore and masseuse stops with Sarah and Annette. Let the games begin!
    And abel? Seriously? You can’t think we’re scared od a little sword and a few death threats . . . Bring it.

    • And ladies and gentlemen, I think Julie proves my point.

    • Totally, Jules. You and Josi can absolutely take this competition. But be sure to stop by and get a little R and R with Annette and I!

  13. You are so awesome, TJ. But I believe you seriously underestimated John’s ability to analyze, scheme, and perseverance to win. Although he would bow down to the complete awesomeness of Team Busybees. =)

    It was fabulous to see you at the conference and sit by you at the Critters Ink dinner, too!

    • First, congrats Danyelle! You are officially the 500th comment on my blog.
      Second, It was difficult picking a top 3 and winners. But I maintain my choice. πŸ˜‰
      Third, it was awesome meeting you this past weekend. One day I’ll get to Kansas.

  14. lol. Very funny!

  15. Stephanie and I won’t mind taking 2nd to Josi and Julie. After all, we’ll make bank on our own reality show next season. πŸ˜‰

  16. Oh, wait. I may be getting ahead of myself. I don’t think Stephanie knows how to come in second. We may be able to take Julie and Josi after all….assuming that I don’t spend the whole time laughing at Julie and Josi’s stunts and eating chocolate with Sarah and Annette.

  17. Awesome! I’m #500 to ever comment on your blog. That’s so fun! And yes, your top three are fab choices. =)

  18. When team Busy Bees win, Sarah and I will welcome you to the spa and share our imported chocolates. Sarah and I have our priorities.

  19. Traci and I are definitely going to win–but we’re not telling you how we’ll do it because we are MYSTERIOUS. You’ll never see it coming, then WHAM.

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