“Stupid” Quotes

I haven’t posted on here randomly in a while. But today, I figured I’d share some of my favorite quotes with the word “stupid” in them (or at least, referencing someone who is acting like a complete idiot/moron/stupidhead/etc.)

I present you my top 5 favorite “stupid” quotes. (One of them has “idiot” instead of “stupid”. Close enough.)

5. “Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not sure about the former.” Albert Einstein’s quote here is great. No clue how human stupidity keeps growing/going? Really? Example one: Jersey Shore was given the green light to start filming sometime ago. Example two: Jersey Shore was given the green light to start filming a fifth season just a few months ago. That’s 5 times more stupid than we were 5 years ago.

4. “Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.” I do not know who to attribute this to, but it is so true.

3. “Stupid is as stupid does.” This line was said brilliantly by Tom Hanks in Forrest Gump. It was actually said many times throughout the film. Sadly, thanks to advances in the internet, this seems to have taken on a new meaning.

2. “You can’t catch stupid.” This is from one of the best TV shows out there that is being cancelled too soon: Eureka. Sheriff Carter is talking to Deputy Jo Lupo and explaining how everyone at the geek haven known as Global Dynamics is acting stupid, to which Jo replies “Carter, you can’t catch stupid.” Of course, Zane’s following line of “This may be my favorite conversation of all time” adds to the hilarity of the moment.

1. “It’s not their fault they’re stupid.” This last one is attributed to my friend Katherine. Katherine and I have been friends since we were 12 or 13. Our senior year of high school, we had American Government together. In this class, we had one day where we were to work in groups of 3 or 4 on a paper. Since Katherine and I sat next to each other, it was pretty common that we worked together on stuff like that. Our assignment was something like this:

“A large group of people are stranded on a desert island and decide to setup a new nation. Answer these questions in relation to this scenario.”

And question #2 went something like this: “Should the more intelligent people be automatically placed into leadership based off their knowledge?” (First, of all, what nation actually has the most intelligent people in political power? Answer: NONE of them. And second…) Without skipping a beat, Katherine responded with, “No, it’s not their fault they’re stupid.”

When we turned in our paper, the teacher said he didn’t like the answer to #2 (our group of 4 believed he thought the answer was “yes” and that he would be included as one of the “intelligent ones”. Those who know Mr. Martinez may ROFL now.) Katherine of course gave a brilliant BS response and this “It’s not their fault they’re stupid” will forever be my favorite “stupid quote.

Alien abductions are involuntary, but probings are scheduled.

What Is This?

So, I haven’t blogged at all this month. (The one post I’ve made from August 2011 was one written up by author friend Tristi Pinkston to promote her wonderful new book.)

Life has been busy. First, the month of July was met with my wife’s family reunion and joining my dad, his wife, and my step-sister and her family at Disneyland. (Spoiler alert: Disneyland is still awesome.) Plus, I had a lot of other things going on in July that involved video games. August has also had video games taking up time. But both July and August have been busy with work and…well…work. I haven’t even had time to work on my book.

Not like that would matter much though since I technically lost it. What does that mean? Well, it means that I own a flash drive and it is nowhere to be found. On that flash drive are so many files that I’ve put a lot of hours working on. It has all the versions of my Eli story on it. The one saving grace is I still have a full printout of the entire book (which will require a massive amount of transcribing). Also, I have the first 30 pages I sent to writing buddy Graham Bradley with his snide comments.

The strange thing was, I didn’t seem to care nearly as much as I thought I would. Yeah, it really does suck. But I’ve been very unmotivated in writing. Last year at this time I was stressed with trying to get Eli ready for submissions. And really, it took a full rewrite between then and now to make it 10x better than it was. And somehow, I’ve lost all writing motivation.

One problem I’ve had is I’ve been distracted by a lot. See, a few months ago, Netflix added The True Story of Wrestlemania and a few other WWE (World Wrestling Entertainment, former World Wrestling Federation) “shows” to watch in their instant stuff. I bet a lot of you have said “wrestling is stupid.” And you know what, I’ve said it too. Guess what, I still say it. But I’m addicted to it again.

Another addiction is my friend Andrew introducing me to this game called Terraria. It’s awesome. At least, it is to me.

But with all that said, I feel an end of my writing break coming. I’ve been met with looking at different stories I’ve wanted to write. Part of me wants to give up on Eli. But part of me says that he just needs a refresher and it’ll be even better. Either way, I’ll get there. Lately, I’ve felt very disorganized with everything and I need to do some personal organization of my life. Once I get things in order, I will be back on my blog more, bringing you hilarious mashups shared between Casey and I, random 10 things that hopefully have something to do with one another, and of course, the most random topics I can come up with.

Before I sign off, let me tell you about 2 books I’m excited about:

The Eleventh Plague by Jeff Hirsch: The link you get with the book’s title will take you to a special 4-chapter sneak peak at the book. And when you’re done with chapter 4, you’re going to want more. Seriously, took me less than 30 minutes to read the whole thing and I’m a slow reader. I love the cover, to begin with. And even better, I loved what I was introduced to.

And of course….

Variant by Robison Wells: Yes, everyone whose known me over the past few years has watched my fanboy status change from one a-maze-ing author to this guy. Besides being awesome (which is how he introduced me to Sara Crowe at Storymakers back in May), he’s an awesome author. Okay, I haven’t read this book. But I’ve read the first page or two and that was enough to make me want to steal the book and miss the movie. (Glad I didn’t though.)

Currently: I’m attempting to read Catching Fire at home and I Don’t Want to Kill You by Dan Wells while I work out. I’m failing on all accounts, but I’ll get there eventually. I still have Possession by awesomesauce Elana Johnson to read.

What have you been up to?

I guess this blog is long enough….so until next time….

ALIEN ABDUCTIONS ARE INVOLUNTARY, BUT PROBINGS ARE SCHEDULED.

Update: I Am Alive

Yes, I’m not dead. No I haven’t dropped off the planet. I just don’t have time to blog much lately.

First, I am studying for my CMA exam (Certified Management Accountant, for the majority of the world, which doesn’t have any clue what that is). So, in studying, there is an extreme lack of writing/editing time.

Second, I’m doing what I can to remain active on Twitter. If you miss my awesomeness, please go visit me on Twitter and breath again since I’m there far too often.

Third, my beautiful and awesome wife gave me a great t-shirt yesterday, which reads, “TO START LET’S JUST ASSUME I’M NEVER WRONG.” This goes well with my “DO NOT START WITH ME, YOU WILL NOT WIN” t-shirt. Of course, my Big Dogs shirt of “HOW’S MY ATTITUDE? DIAL 1-800-BITEME” is always a winner. I still miss my shirt that said “I’M NOT SAYING YOU’RE DUMB, IT GOES WITHOUT SAYING.” If I was really popular and published and semi-untouchable, I’d wear these shirts to writers conferences. I’d even convince my wife that I need an “I AM NOT A SERIAL KILLER” t-shirt.

Fourth, I’ve been spending free time playing Magic with my best friend Andrew. It’s nice to have an addiction that someone close by can help me feed. And you know what that does for me? Gives me story ideas. One day, I’ll have a really good one from these random cards.

Fifth, I had a weird dream last night where Casey‘s husband and I were getting ready for a double-date with our wives. And then I woke up creating a story about time-travelers unraveling in my head. I think I may have to start jotting down notes.

Sixth, I have been in a lot of pain lately in my right arm. I may have carpal tunnel. Getting a test for that today. Wish me luck. (UPDATE: Not carpal tunnel. Something called ulnar tunnel is high possibility.)

Seventh, I am not really certain what my writing future holds.

Alien abductions are involuntary, but probings are scheduled.

The Amazing Race: LDS Authors

Guess what, it’s time for fake-reality-show-with-LDS-Authors! Why? Because I did this last year after Storymakers. And you know what, it’s just a fun tradition.

First: A little about the Emmy winning Amazing Race. Teams of 2 (usually 11-12 of them) race around the world solving clues and arriving at pit stops with mandatory 12 hours of rest. The last team to arrive at a pit stop is out of the race. So without further ado, my awesome cast list for The Amazing Race: LDS Authors

Before we get to the teams, I’ve decided that this show needs a good host. So I’ve chosen my agented friend Graham Bradley.

1. Team Wells: Robison Wells and Dan Wells. I put them in order of first novel published. Who wouldn’t want to watch the Wells brothers sparring off with one another? Threats of demons and weird schools coming up. And they can argue on who’s the better author agented by Sara Crowe.

2. Team Short and Sweet: Sarah Eden and Annette Lyon: (Yes Sarah, there is an order here.) This is probably the fan favorite team. Sarah constantly cracking short jokes and her expense, Annette freaking out that the clues misused the phrase “Couldn’t care less”. It’d just be awesome!

3. Team Dudes: James Dashner and Jeff Savage: I really see this being the lazy team who still manages to get by. And it’d be entertaining to watch James go to Greece and see his book at the airport and stop and admire it. (Well, he may do that.)

4. Team Awesomesauce: Elana Johnson and Nichole Giles: Elana’s Possession comes out soon. Oh wait, not why I’m talking about them. Elana and Nichole are seriously two of the nicest and awesomest people I know. And how could I not include my fellow reality-show loving fan, Elana? And how could I not have a ‘Team Awesomesauce’?

5. Team No Excuse: Brandon Sanderson and Howard Tayler: This will be one of the funniest teams to watch. They’d also be a pretty strong team and would have the other contestants gunning to get rid of them quickly.

6. Team Busy Bees: Josi Kilpack and Julie Wright: These two awesome authors are just so busy that it would be funny to see them be forced to sit still at an airport (without children or spouses to be worried about).

7. Team Mysterious: Stephanie Black and Traci Abramson: Both Whitney Award nominated women. The stay at home mom and the former CIA agent. Sounds like a tv show in and of itself actually.

8. Team Man-Cave: Abel Keogh and David West: Both awesome guys. Both manly-men. (Okay, that didn’t sound awkward or anything.) But both these guys are awesome and I can see them making a great team for this faux competition.

9. Team Fergie: John Ferguson and Danyelle Ferguson: Yes, I know John isn’t really a published author. But Danyelle is and she needs a great partner. So I chose her husband John. Deal with it! Also, John is hilarious and I think it’d be funny watching him race around the world. Danyelle is also sweet enough to put up with all the shenanigans he’d try do.

10. Team Siblingesque: Don Carey and Krista Jensen: Don and Krista aren’t siblings. But they do show that they’re friends. They could tolerate each other long enough for this competition. (No, Krista isn’t published, but she is under contract. Close enough in my book.)

11. Team Random: Marion Jensen and Tyler Whitesides: I know Marion already thinks that his partner should be Matthew Buckley. But there has to be four feet running, not two in this game. These guys are random, awesome, and cool. I think that’s all I can say for this team. Both funny guys. But you know what, this would be the quietest team I bet.

So, last time, I named the final 5. This time, we’re gonna go with the final three.

And they are, in no particular order: Team Busy Bees, Team Mysterious, and Team Random! I think Busy Bees just would have the drive to get to the end. Mysterious has the intelligence factor in their favor. And Random, well, because they’re random.

And my pick for The Amazing Race: LDS Authors winner:

TEAM BUSY BEES!!!!!!

Why? I don’t see either woman ever giving up. (Not that anyone else would be giving up.) I also see them as fairly fit and ready to go on a race around the world.

Okay, that’s it. Next year, what will I come up with? You’ll have to wait and see. As always:

Alien abductions are involuntary, but probings are scheduled.

Month End

Work. Write. Work. Write. Work? Write? Work? Write? Work? Revise? Work? Revise? Work? Revise? Work. Work. Work. Blog. Work. Blog. Work. Blog.

Yeah, that’s basically how life has been for me lately: a bunch of confusion.

See, at my job, I prepare the company’s financials. This means that every month I have gather to make monthly entries into our general ledger, tie out the balance sheet accounts, prepare a gazillion Excel spreadsheets, and then input data into more Excel spreadsheets (which make up the final financial package). I then present this to my boss for review and wait for her dozen or so phone calls, emails, and/or instant messages. Then, my boss and I present this (mostly me) to the General Manager.

During this time, I want to rip out my eyes because they’ve been staring at a monitor for so long that I swear they were literally glued to it. But, you know what is important about this ‘month end’ time period? There is literally 31 days until LDS Storymakers. Even better? I have a pitch to desuckify and perfect. Even better? I have a crapload of craptastic words to remove from my book between now and then. Not that I have to, but I feel the need to. (And yes, I end sentences in prepositions. Is it proper? No. Do I care? No. Why not? Because that’s the way people friggin’ speak in the 21st Century! People not being able to spell, that’s a different horror in this world.)

From the way this post is reading, it seems like I’m freaking out. Yeah, a little. No wait, a lot. I have so much to do that sometimes, I just need to blog to help relieve that stress. Much better.

Alien abductions are involuntary, but probings are scheduled.

Yppah Lirpa Sloof Yad

Fi uoy t’nac daer siht, t’nod yrrow, er’uoy ton yzarc. I ma. I ekil ot esufnoc elpoep sa hcum sa elbissop. I kniht I did a doog boj yadot. 🙂

Yojne ruoy yad, ti si a lufituaeb yad edistuo!

Neila snoitcudba era yratnulovni, tub sgniborp era deludehcs.

Elana-ish Vocabulary

So, I have this author friend, Elana Johnson, who I’ve mentioned before. FYI, she’s seriously one of the nicest people I’ve ever met. But she’s got some interesting vocabulary terms. Actually, she’s got some cool vocabulary terms. Here are some of my favorites along with some explanation of what they mean.

Awesomesauce: Loosely translated: the substance of something that is awesome, however, can be used in place of awesome. It’s a conundrum.

Lamesauce: The opposite of awesomesauce. Duh!

Frawesome: Friggin’ awesome said by only the really cool people or really lazy. I’m usually classified by the latter.

Desuckify: Removing the things that suck, commonly referred to editing and revising a manuscript.

Craptacular: Things that are so crappy, they are the opposite of spectacular.

Craptastic: See craptacular and replace “spectacular” with “fantastic”

I’m sure there are many more words. Just have a good conversation with Elana (which only those made of awesomesauce do) and you’ll learn some new frawesome vocabulary. It’ll desuckify your life and you’ll no longer be craptacular lamesauce. I mean, really, no one wants to be that craptastic.

Alien abductions are involuntary, but probings are scheduled.